Is it over yet?

The year.  2011.  The last 365 days.  Is it over yet?  In honor of the annual rolling over of the calender, I've decided to do a quaint "My life in 2011."  For those of you who lived with me during the last year, do not worry.  This isn't going to be self-destructing.  

December 31st, 2010:  I was driving with my girlfriend and some friends to Whitefish, MT to celebrate the New Year by racing down a mountain on two waxed boards.  We arrived in Whitefish an hour before midnight and spent the last hour of 2010 in the hotel bar listening to the house band, drinking some brews, and keeping an eye on the small TV that was tuned to the obligatory network television New Year's special.  After we counted down the last 10 seconds of the year, made a toast, and blew on those ridiculous noise-makers that, I imagine, only get used for the two or three minutes following the perplexing celebration of hanging a new calender, I remember thinking this was going to be a BIG year in my life.  I am pretty sure the word I used was memorable.  Boy, how right I was.

January 2011:  After the ski trip to Whitefish, I returned back to Montana to prepare for an inspection and, more importantly, submit my separation paperwork.  By the end of January, I had informed my leadership that I no longer wished to be an officer in the Air Force and would like to part ways in August.  

February 2011:  February was a big month as it was the first time I ever got engaged.  

March - May: My favorite place in the whole world is Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio (no relation to the child molesting football coach).  A relatively obscure city between Cleveland and Toledo, it is home to the world's largest and greatest amusement park.  It didn't always used to be my favorite.  In fact, up until my teenage years, I hated roller coasters and anything that went upside-down.  It was a terrifying experience.  Going up the first hill was full of anticipation.  Maybe this time I would like the ride!  Perhaps this time it would be different.  After the first drop, my eyes were closed and my firsts were clenched.  When the ride was over, I was angry at my parents for tricking me into riding it and angry at myself for believing them that it wouldn't be that bad.

Of course, now I can't get enough.  For me, it is a thrilling.  If you were to watch me as I raced towards the earth on the big hill, I would be smiling from ear to ear.  I got on my metaphorical roller coaster in February in hopes that it would be just like Millenium Force or Magnum XL200 (no relation to the popular prophylactic).  What I didn't realize was that it was a roller coaster from my childhood.  By the end of March, I was at the top of the hill and started my plummet toward the end of the ride...because in reality, once I crested, that's all I wanted; the ride to be over.  

May was also a big month because it marked the first time in 4 years that I no longer lived in the house at 305 37th Ave.  My friends had all left Montana or were leaving very soon.  I searched for places to stay but since everyone required at least a 6 month lease and I only planned on staying for 3, I packed up all my earthly goods, put them in storage and moved into an Extended Stay for the duration of my time in Montana.  

June-August 2011:  Once I stumbled out of Dreamland and back into reality, I decided to go to the Service Academy Career Conference in Washington D.C.  I had a blast there talking to some Academy classmates of mine and doing some light touring of D.C.  I met up with an old friend from Montana and we shared stories over beer and dinner at a great Fish and Chips restaurant in Alexandria.  It was also the first time I had ever been on a subway and I LOVED it.  I found myself getting on it for no good reason to cross the town for dinner or maybe drinks.  Of course, it was also my first time noting that after 11pm, a subway station is a very scary place. 

In July, I was finally done.  I had my last ever alert and packed up my life into a very large Penske truck for my trek across the country.  On July 18th, I left my old life behind and set off to the east in hopes of starting anew.  After 4 long days of driving, I arrived back in my home state of Ohio where my permanent residence was set up for the first time since leaving in 2002.  

In August, I attended another career conference; this time in Chicago.  After talking with perspective employers, I discovered that the only opportunities I was going to have at this stage in the game were junior management positions in dirty industry (oil, gas, steel).  Since this was nothing that I was interested in, I decided to take a big risk and go "all-in" on becoming a pilot.  It had been in the back of mind since my uncle showed me an article in early summer.  It didn't help that my hotel room faced Chicago's O'Hare Airport and that my room was merely 1000 feet below final approach.

For the first time in my life, I was going to take a leap into the unknown.  I usually only do things I know will work out for me in the end--or at least have a reasonable assurance of working out.  After quite a bit of retrospection, I realized one important thing.  There is no sure thing.  Countless times in my life I have put all my eggs in the safe basket.  Over and over I have chosen the safe, albeit sometimes difficult, road to success and every single time I have been bitten in the ass.  If I have spent my life playing it safe and still haven't had things work out of me, what is the harm in taking chances.  I'm a smart guy.  I can take educated, calculated risks.  So, I took a risk.  I went to Florida to become a pilot and, in my opinion at this stage in the game, it is working out despite some very minor setbacks.  

December 30th to January 2012: And so I go back to my original question.  Is it over yet?  This year has been both devastating and uplifting.  In a matter of 6 months I have had the most memorable experience of my life and an experience I wish I could forget.  Someone once told me that if there was no sadness in your life, how would you know what made you happy?  I will tell you one thing, compared to my spring roller coaster ride from hell, this fall and winter have been amazing.  Tomorrow (Dec 30th) I am going to return to St Pete Beach.  Unfortunately, I will be spending the New Year's tradition alone since my aunt and uncle will be living it up in NYC.  Perhaps, I will wonder on down to a bar on the beach.  Maybe I'll just catch sunset and then walk home.  Who knows, I might even spend it at a Starbucks.  For now, my life is like a leaf blowing in the wind.  If all works out to plan, by summer I will be employed at an airline.  I am making my own destiny this time around.  Even better, if it doesn't work out, I have dozens of suitable fall-back options.  At least I'll be able to look back on my life and say that I chased my dream with every ounce of effort and it was worth it.  After all, life is not about the destination, it's about the journey.