I'm sorry, did you say Channing Tatum?

Yes, I did say Channing Tatum but more on that later.  

Yesterday was a VERY long day.  I got up to the airport around 9:30am for a scheduled 10am departure.  This was going to be a "Prep-for-checkride" flight.  When I got to the airport, it was evident that the weather that was forecast to arrive the day before was already showing its teeth.  It was drizzling and it was windy.  The winds were about 10 degrees off the runway center line steady at 15 kts gusting to 25kts.  A 10 degree crosswind, even at that speed wasn't bad.  So, we taxied out to the active runway, runway 17L and got ready for takeoff.  

A quick note before I get too far.  As I'm sure you are aware, the runways are numbered.  What you may not know, however, is that the number of the runway isn't just a random two number combination that the airport people made up.  It is the direction the runway is pointing to the closest 10 degrees.  So, if I am taking off on 17L, when I am centered on the runway center line, my compass and heading indicator should both read somewhere around 170 degrees (almost south).  There is a little room for error in the numbering system.  Obviously you aren't going to have a runway 16.7.  The runway heading is usually rounded to the nearest ten . There are also times when they have more than one runway at an airport pointing in the same direction.  These are called parallel runways and are identified as either the Left, Center, or Right runway.  I think that's pretty self-explanatory.  BUT I digress.

So, this particular flight was going to be all the things I would see during a check.  We took off and flew directly to the airport's missed approach holding pattern.  We held there for about 15 minutes and then got clearance to attempt our first approach.  The routine was pretty much the same for all the approaches.  We were radar vectored (controller telling us the direction to fly) to a point where we could intercept our final approach course.  When we were leaving the holding pattern, the controller would come up and say:

ATC: "N644, turn left heading 360.  Expect vectors for the ILS 17L." 

Of course, you have to repeat all instructions.  This one isn't bad.  As we were vectored, we would get minor heading/altitude adjustments and then they clear you for the approach.  

ATC:  "N644, turn right heading 150. Maintain 2000 until established on the localizer.  Cleared ILS 17L approach....your missed approach instructors are turn right heading 270.  Climb and maintain 1600.  Return to this frequency."  

I flew the approach, got to the decision height and my instructor told me to perform the missed approach.  Then we turned right 270 and were headed back out to the beach to hold.  We did a total of 4 approaches (ILS, ILS single-engine, GPS, and VOR).  I know this means nothing to most of you but just know that it's a different procedure that gets you to the airport using different navigation systems.  Also, as a twist to each approach, he would "fail" equipment.  This, of course, required you to use other, less useful, equipment when performing the approach.  Do I have an example, you ask?  Well of course!

I'll use the last approach.  We did a VOR approach.  We had been flying and doing approaches for about an hour and a half and I was getting mentally tired.  You could tell because my radio calls were getting sloppy and disjointed.  So, we were getting vectors to set up on the final approach course and the instructor covers up my heading indicator.  The heading indicator is a gyroscopic instrument that gives you a very reliable heading indication.  It is set using the compass while on the ground and in straight and level flight but it far more reliable than a compass when turning and in less-than-smooth flight.  A compass is prone to various errors while flying.  So, when the gyroscopic heading indicator fails, you have to use the magnetic compass.  Great.  

To give you an idea of what it's like to use a magnetic compass while flying I want you to close your eyes and picture this.  Ok, maybe don't close your eyes but picture this. Imagine you are somewhere with gentle rolling hills only it's REALLY REALLY foggy.  You can maybe see 100 yards in front of you.  Now, I'm going to give you a magnetic compass and tell you that you have to run straight ahead for 2 miles heading due east.  You must read the compass on the run and can't stop.  Good luck.  

Ok, back to my story.  So, it's really bumpy out.  I am told to hold a 130 heading and, of course, my compass is bouncing back and forth from 100 to 160.  Now I'm getting frustrated.  Out of nowhere I hear a jet somewhere declare an emergency.  Something might be on fire.  So, we are cleared for the approach and I'm getting set up using my shitty compass as my only means of direction.  

Legacy Private Charter Jet: "Tampa Approach, Legacy 4SG.  Please contact St Pete and have them roll the equipment (the firetrucks and EMT).  Passengers are reporting smoke in the cabin."  

ATC: "Legacy 4SG roger.  Cleared ILS 17L...N644 (me) turn right heading 270.  Approach clearance canceled.  Emergency aircraft behind you on final.  Expect vectors back to VOR 17L."

There were 4 aircraft doing approach work and getting set up for approaches.  One by one, we all got vectors out to the Gulf as the Private Jet came screaming into St Pete.  Luckily, we were closest to the approach because we were essentially spun around and sent right back towards the approach course once the jet passed.  Ok, almost done.  We were cleared for the VOR 17L.  About 3 minutes later ATC comes back and says,

ATC: "N644.  Runway 17L is closed due to disabled aircraft on the runway.  Cleared for the VOR 17L circle-to-land Runway 22."

In the grand scheme of things, not a big deal.  So, we line up and approach 17L and when we have the airport in sight, we essentially just circle over to the other runway and land on it.  We changed over to tower and let them know that we were VOR 17L Circle-to-land 22.  

Tower: "Roger N644, cleared to land Runway 22.  Wind 150 at 16 gust 25."

And that's when I started calculating crosswind.  I knew that a 30 degree crosswind would result in 50% of the wind.  A 60 degree crosswind would result in about 90% of the wind as the crosswind speed.  At 50 degrees, we were looking at a crosswind of around 14 knots gusting to 22 kts.  The maximum demonstrated crosswind of our aircraft was 17 kts.  As we were turning final, the winds shifted to 160 at 16 gust 25.  This was about a 40 degree crosswind and was a little better but going to be tough regardless.  The VOR approach to landing for me was a complete disaster but it resulted in a good crosswind landing on my part.  

As we walked into the FBO, there were a bunch of skater punk looking people hanging out in the lobby.  Girls with pink hair, guys wearing hats three sizes too big cocked to one side with gross patchy crusty looking facial hair.  One guy was complaining that all the alcohol was left on the plane while the mechanics checked to find the source of the smoke.  It smelled like a bar in there.  My buddy comes back and says, "dude, that was Channing Tatum's jet.  He walked into the FBO right after you left."  

I'm sorry, did you say Channing Tatum?  I thought that was kind of cool...his entourage was a sketchy though and left much to be desired.  

One last thought.  Last night I passed both the instrument rating and instrument instructor rating written tests.  They are essentially the same test.  I didn't leave until around 6:30 last night but I'm another step closer...